Source: Allen Berezovsky / Getty
Protect young Black men.
Yes, I am going there, because for some reason women have been way too comfortable with championing other women doing deplorable things to young men that we have been crucifying our male counterparts for.
Let me explain. When Diddy, 54, confirmed he was dating Yung Miami, 29, the world was up in arms calling for the City Girl to be protected while pointing out that Diddy was even older than her parents, who were both satisfied with the relationship at the time. Even when it was announced that Cher, 77, was dating music producer and Amber Rose’s ex, Alexander “AE” Edwards,38, many women had words for Edwards dubbing him a “gold digger” despite Cher publicly stating the “two just get each other.”
Regardless of both of the relationships above being significant in age difference, another important fact that everyone missed in their outrage is both of the younger partners are at least 30 (or approaching) while Jalen Green is not. Let’s talk about why that is important. Under most laws, young people are recognized as adults at age 18. However, according to the National Library of Medicine, brain development is not complete until near the age of 25. This refers specifically to the development of the prefrontal cortex–the part of your brain responsible for making “executive decisions,” such as thinking and problem-solving–confirming that most people don’t reach full maturity until their mid-20s.
So the truth is, Draya Michele isn’t “goals,” she’s a predator who knowingly took advantage of a young man who doesn’t neither understand the true trap that he was being placed in, allegedly, nor did he have any wisdom from his male colleagues to protect him.
Of course with the number of men spilling the tea about their time with her growing daily, Draya took to her Instagram Story to share her feelings nearly a week after she announced she was allegedly expecting a baby with the 22-year-old Houston Rockets player, writing:
“I feel like I am at the bottom of a pile of heavy humans. Most hours of the day I feel like I am struggling to breathe.”
For the record, it’s unclear if the post was the Mint Swim CEO expressing discomfort due to symptoms of being seven months pregnant or a reaction to the internet dragging her for the 17-year age gap between her and her daughter’s rumored father. But the post resulted in women expressing sympathy and calling for the backlash from men to stop. Although the truth is, she should be shamed for her predatory behavior. The fact that her latest child’s father is one year older than her eldest son, Kniko Howard, born in 2002, should be a red flag for most and is extremely problematic.
For those who still want to argue that they are two equally consenting adults, despite science proving otherwise, let’s discuss the age gap rule of thumb.
If you subscribe to the “rule of seven,” the question of where the boundaries of a socially acceptable relationship lie isn’t a matter of opinion—they’re clearly defined. According to the rule, the age of the younger partner (regardless of gender) should be no less than seven more than half the older partner’s age. Summarizing the point that based on Draya’s age, she shouldn’t date anyone younger than 27, once again proving the relationship borders the line of predatorial.
It’s important to call out this type of behavior because outside of her being an influencer with a massive platform, publicly championing her inappropriate relationship not only sets an unhealthy trend in age-gap relationships but also excuses the abuse against young men as being part of “manhood,” which not only creates trauma for the individual but also further perpetuates the pattern of men feeling unheard when it comes to various forms of abuse.
Sexual abuse for underdeveloped men and boys has been on the rise with many teachers manipulating young men and having children with little to no consequences. According to a study funded by the U.S. Justice Department, about 10% of all students experience sexual misconduct by a school employee sometime between kindergarten and the time they graduate from high school. Male abusers outnumber females, the study said. But the number of reports of female educators charged with sexual abuse of students is rising — not necessarily because there are more women abusing children, but because they’re getting caught.
Sexual abuse also has long-term effects on male victims, making it difficult to understand the magnitude of its impact. For male survivors, the long-term effects can be devastating, leading to depression, low self-esteem and post-traumatic stress disorder; along with difficulties forming healthy relationships and engaging in healthy sexual behavior; then, we wonder why all of these broken men are grabbing a podcast mic.
The truth is we can’t “Me Too” and call for an end to toxic masculinity and patriarchy while trying to co-opt it. It’s time to stop championing toxic and predatory behavior knowing that it creates victims–regardless of gender, even if the behavior is legal.