R. Kelly is breaking his silence on the sexual misconduct allegations, Spotify playlist ban, illiteracy, his financial situation, and more on his 19-minute confessional track “I Admit.”
“I admit I done made some mistakes and I have some imperfect ways,” sings the 51-year-old R&B superstar before saying he “feels like retiring.”
He goes on to address his illiteracy (“I admit I can’t spell for shit”) and admits to having sex with many women including fans (“I admit I’m a freak”). But he claims those encounters were consensual.
“How they gon’ say I don’t respect these women when all I’ve done is represent? / Take my career and turn it upside down ’cause you’re mad I’ve got some girlfriends / Hell with this record deal / It ain’t worth this shot for real / Ain’t seen my kids in years / They’re tryna lock me up like Bill.”
He admits to having a long conversation with Wendy Williams, where they discussed Aaliyah and the infamous sex tape with an underage girl. “She said, ‘What about Aaliyah?’ / I said, ‘Love’ / She said, ‘What about the tape?’ / I said, ‘Hush’ / I said my lawyer said don’t say nuth’, but I can tell you I’ve been set up.”
He reveals that he gave his publishing away due to dyslexia and not being able to read the contracts. “Now the truth in this message is I’m a broke-ass legend / The only reason I stay on tour is ’cause I gotta pay my rent,” he sings. “I never thought it would come to this, to being the most disrespected artist / So I had to write a song about it / ‘Cause they always take my words and twist it / Believe me, it’s hard to admit all this.”
He addresses Spotify banning his music from their playlists as part its “hateful conduct” policy, which they later retracted. “Spotify took me f their playlists / I admit that I been underrated,” he sings. “I’m not convicted, not arrested, but dragged my name in the dirt / All this work to be successful and you abandoned me ’cause what you heard.”
Over the course nearly 20 minutes, he also addresses his outspoken critics including Steve Harvey, John Legend, and Tom Joyner. “They’re doing good in their lives right now, why would they wanna tear down another brother?”
Kelly says that he was a victim sexual assault as a young child. “I admit a family member touched me / From a child to the age 14 / While I laid asleep, took my virginity / So scared to say something, so I just put the blame on me,” he sings.
He also goes on the record about the sexual abuse accusations he’s faced from several women and recent claims that he’s running a “sex cult.” “I admit I am not perfect / I never said I was perfect / Say I’m abusing these women / What the fuck, that’s some absurd shit / They brainwashed, really? / Kidnapped, really? / Can’t eat, really? / Real talk, that shit sounds silly.”
He also fers advice to the parents the women who’ve accused him. “Don’t push your daughter in my face / And tell me that it’s OK / Because your agenda is to get paid / And get mad when it don’t go your way.”
He continues, “What’s the definition a cult? / What’s the definition a sex slave? / Go to dictionary, look it up, let me know, I’ll be here waitin’ / Now I admit I got some girls that love me to pull they hair / And I admit they love me talk dirty when I pull they hair / Some like me to spank them, some like to give brain / And what some these girls want is too much for the radio station.”
He adds, “Look, I’m just a man, ya’ll / Not a monster or beast, but I admit there are times when these girls so fine outchea that a ni**a fall weak.”
He also brings up journalist Jim DeRogatis, who’s been investigating allegations against R. Kelly for over two decades. “You’ve been trying to destroy me for 25 whole years,” he sings. “Writin’ the same stories over and over and over again / Off my name, you don’ went and made yourself a career / Well guess what I pray for you, your family, and all my other enemies / I’m not gonna let ya’ll steal my joy.”
He adds that he’s been “falsely accused.” “Tell me, how can you judge when you’ve never walked in my shoes?”
He ends with one final admission. “There is one thing that’s for sure, and I want to make this shit clear / I done lift my voice and represented my country for 31 fucking years.”